Texas This I Know...

Texas This I Know...
Texas Farm to Market Road

Monday, July 26, 2004

TLS (Terminal Leftism Syndrome)

TLS (Terminal Leftism Syndrome)

TLS afflicts individuals who have stayed too many years in the Left. Their brains atrophy and shrink. They lose the ability to think independently due to years of chanting Leftist slogans. Then they can never get it back because the brain has become permanently damaged by non-use.

Men are more prone to TLS than women. The few women victims of TLS usually become violent man haters before the end. Glue sniffers, heavy pot smokers, and butane huffers are brain damaged much in the way TLS victims are, except that their brains, instead of shrinking, actually get cooked from the inside out by the chemicals they ingest.

Since the CDP (Chemically Damaged Person) will act the same, talk the same, and have the same political beliefs as a TLS victim, it is almost impossible to tell the difference at first glance. They both have the same vacant stare, the same terrible smell, the constant steam of babble-talk, and the same rivulet of drool coming out of the corner of the mouth.

However, whereas the CDP is usually homeless and spends at least some of his time hunting for food, begging for money, and finding a place to sleep for the night. The TLS victim has none of these worries.

He is always supported by an academic institution, or has a do-nothing government position, or is given money and a place to stay by wealthy, doting relatives who never discipline him, or nag him to get a real job. He always has a place to sleep,food to eat and a lot of free time. His clothing will be only a little better than the CDP. Not always cleaner, but newer and more expensive.

There's no hope for TLS victims, but there is hope for the those who have to endure his company. That is because TLS victims eventually lose the ability to hold a train of thought long enough to act upon it.

At this point they become silent, stop bugging people and spend the rest of their lives watching "The Munsters", "Gilligan's Island", and "The Beverly Hillbillies".


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